1 day ago
Why Some Singles Chase Risky Relationships for an Adrenaline Rush
Some people mistake a relationship’s ups and downs for strong love.
When someone’s affection is unpredictable, each good moment can feel especially important.
But feeling intense does not necessarily mean two people are a good match.
A healthier connection does not need constant drama to feel meaningful.
People may repeat dating patterns that feel familiar because of earlier experiences.
They can look at how the relationship regularly makes them feel and how the other person behaves.
Raj says those patterns are more useful than promises or asking others to predict whether a relationship will work.
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj says emotional intensity is not a reliable sign of compatibility.
Unpredictability and inconsistent affection can make relationships feel unusually compelling and may be mistaken for chemistry.
Healthy attraction does not depend on emotional volatility; persistent anxiety and reassurance-seeking deserve attention.
Earlier experiences of unpredictable closeness may lead people to repeat familiar relationship patterns.
Raj advises judging relationships by consistent behaviour and personal experience rather than promises or outside reassurance.
- Who
- Counselling psychologist Athul Raj discusses singles drawn to risky or emotionally intense relationships.
- What
- He explains how uncertainty and familiar patterns can be mistaken for chemistry and offers guidance on assessing relationships.
- Where
- In comments to indianexpress.com.
- When
- Why
- To explain why some people pursue uncertain relationships and how to distinguish intensity from compatibility.
Intensity as chemistry
Consistency as a better guide
What strong feelings indicate
Intensity as chemistry
Uncertainty and inconsistent affection can make closeness feel especially significant, and that intensity may be mistaken for chemistry.
Consistency as a better guide
Intensity alone does not show compatibility; healthy attraction need not depend on emotional volatility.
How to assess a relationship
Intensity as chemistry
Seeking reassurance from other people may offer temporary certainty when dating feels ambiguous.
Consistency as a better guide
Raj recommends noticing whether the relationship’s repeated behaviour and one’s lived experience align with what one wants.
Key facts
- Expert
- Counselling psychologist Athul Raj
- Published by
- indianexpress.com
- Central distinction
- Emotional intensity is not a reliable measure of compatibility.
- Possible warning signs
- Persistent anxiety, hypervigilance, or needing constant reassurance
- Suggested guide
- Observe lived experience and repeated behaviour rather than relying on promises or outside reassurance.
Quotes
Athul Raj
Counselling psychologist interviewed by indianexpress.com
“External sources may provide temporary certainty, but they cannot substitute self-awareness. What I encourage people to pay attention to is not whether someone else believes the relationship will work, but whether their own lived experience consistently aligns with what they want from a partner.”
indianexpress.com
“Individuals who have learned that closeness is unpredictable or has to be earned may unconsciously find themselves drawn towards similar dynamics later in life. It is less about seeking emotionally unavailable people and more about returning to a relational template that already feels familiar.”
indianexpress.com
Sources
Related news
Repeated Encounters Make Familiar Faces More Attractive, Survey Finds
Pheromone Maxxing Trend Promotes Natural Odor Over Deodorant
Korean Drama Sparks Debate Over Attraction, Infidelity and Boundaries
Aditya Dhar Praises Yami Gautam’s Disciplined Rituals and Reliability
Urban Indian Singles Face Loneliness Despite Active Social Lives
Chalant Dating Encourages Gen Z to Show Genuine Interest
Ashoka Graduate Wins Chevening Scholarship on First Application
Mithali Raj Reflects on Harmanpreet Kaur’s Evolution as Captain
UPSC GS 3 Practice Explores Optogenetics and Oil Prices
GST Council to Consider Major Process and Compliance Reforms
