Science & Tech · Science & Environment · 3 hrs ago
Study links lasting relationships to responding when a partner is upset
A study suggests couples do better when they respond to each other’s feelings, even when one partner is upset.
Researchers at the University of Washington used a mathematical model built on decades of relationship research.
The work draws on relationship expert John Gottman’s three broad styles: validating, conflict-avoiding and volatile.
Validating couples acknowledge each other’s feelings and stay emotionally engaged during difficult periods.
Conflict-avoiding couples may leave unhappiness unaddressed, even if steering clear of hard conversations reduces arguments in the short term.
Volatile couples argue often and experience intense emotional highs and lows, but remain engaged with each other.
The researchers say recognising the emotional cost of ignoring a partner may help explain what supports a happy, lasting marriage.
A study suggests couples are more likely to develop a healthy relationship style when they acknowledge and respond to each other’s feelings during difficult periods.
Researchers say ignoring a partner’s unhappiness can carry an emotional cost and contribute to a conflict-avoiding pattern.
The team used a mathematical model based on decades of relationship research.
The study builds on relationship expert John Gottman’s work identifying validating, conflict-avoiding and volatile marriage styles.
- Who
- A research team from the University of Washington.
- What
- A study examined how couples’ responses to a partner’s unhappiness relate to relationship styles.
- When
- Published on 8 November 2026.
- Where
- Not stated.
- Why
- The researchers examined how responding to or ignoring a partner’s feelings relates to relationship patterns and wellbeing.
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- Publication date
- 8 November 2026
- Research team
- University of Washington
- Method
- Mathematical model based on decades of relationship research
- Relationship styles
- Validating, conflict-avoiding and volatile
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What people are saying
The emotional cost of ignoring one's spouse helps differentiate between validating and avoider-type marriages
There is, of course, an emotional cost associated with ignoring one's spouse when he or she is upset.