Health · Fitness & Nutrition · 10 hrs ago
Sexologist says shame can be a bigger problem than poor sex
Sexologist Ann-Marlene Henning says shame often blocks open conversations about sex.
In more than 30 years of counseling, she has heard many questions about bodies, desire and what is normal.
Her new book answers 101 questions about sexuality, including topics people may find too simple or embarrassing to ask.
Henning says this uncertainty often begins in the teenage years but can continue into adulthood.
She advises couples to raise difficult wishes in small steps, choosing a moment when they are in a good mood.
When pain or a crossed boundary is involved, she says honest conversation is important, though partners should choose words that do not needlessly hurt.
Speaking up can help people regain confidence and avoid ignoring their own limits.
Sexologist Ann-Marlene Henning says shame and fear of speaking openly can be bigger problems for couples than poor sex.
She says people often stay silent because they fear being judged or revealing something about themselves.
Henning recommends raising difficult topics in small steps, at a moment when the mood is good.
She says partners should speak honestly about pain and boundaries, while being careful not to hurt each other unnecessarily.
Her new book answers 101 questions about sexuality, based on issues she has encountered in her counselling work.
- Who
- Sexologist and couples counsellor Ann-Marlene Henning.
- What
- She says shame and difficulty discussing sexual needs can be more serious problems than poor sex.
- When
- The interview was published on 17 October 2026. Henning has advised people about sexuality for more than 30 years.
- Where
- Not stated.
- Why
- Henning says people may fear rejection or worry that asking questions will expose them or make them seem abnormal.
This story does not have two clearly opposing sides.
Henning says sexual uncertainty develops during puberty, though questions may persist into adulthood.
Henning has advised people about their sexuality.
n-tv published its interview with Henning about shame, communication and her new book.
- Book
- Answers 101 questions about sexuality
- Experience
- More than 30 years advising people about sexuality
- Advice
- Raise a difficult wish in small steps when the mood is good
- Publication
- 17 October 2026
What people are saying
If I have learned that it will hurt to show myself or say what I want to do, then at some point I stop saying anything.
I wait until the mood is good. And then I bring up a small, daring wish.
If I have pain, then I have to be very honest.
Behind all these questions is almost always: Am I normal?