Archive · 2 Nov 2025
A Guide to Moving On After Heartbreak and Loss
Imagine you had a favorite toy that broke, and you were really sad.
Moving on is like learning to play with new toys and finding new games to enjoy, not because you forgot the old toy, but because you learned how to have fun in different ways.
It’s okay to feel sad and miss the toy (or person).
You should let yourself feel those feelings, like crying or writing a letter you don't send, then letting it go.
Think of all the messages and pictures like a sugar rush that makes you feel stuck.
You have to stop looking at them to feel better, like a detox.
It's also important to be calm, like a balanced scale, when memories pop up.
You can remember them without getting overwhelmed.
Heartbreak can feel like everything is broken, but it’s a chance to build something new and stronger, like making art from broken pieces.
Every experience, even the painful ones, teaches you something about yourself.
Finally, you can say 'thank you' for the good times and 'goodbye' to end the chapter, which helps you feel peaceful.
Then, you use what you’ve learned to build a new and better life, becoming a stronger version of yourself.
Moving on involves acknowledging and naming grief rather than suppressing it.
Breaking addictive cycles, like re-reading old messages, is crucial for healing.
Upekkha, or equanimity, allows one to experience memories without being consumed by them.
Heartbreak can be a catalyst for personal growth and creation, transforming chaos into art.
Integrating lessons learned from past relationships, referred to as the 'shadow,' is key to self-understanding and healing.
- Who
- An individual sharing personal experiences and insights on moving on.
- What
- A practical guide on how to process heartbreak, let go of past relationships, and heal.
- When
- After experiencing a significant loss or betrayal in a relationship.
- Where
- The author draws from personal experiences, including a resort in Kerala and a balcony.
- Why
- To help individuals, and specifically a friend who asked, understand and navigate the difficult process of moving on from people they once loved or who have caused them pain.
- Core concept
- Moving on is about growing beyond pain, not forgetting.
- Key principle 1
- Name and feel grief instead of ignoring it.
- Key principle 2
- Break addictive dopamine loops associated with past relationships.
- Key principle 3
- Practice upekkha (equanimity) to let memories pass without drowning in them.
- Key principle 4
- Use the chaos of heartbreak to rebuild and create something new.
- Key principle 5
- Integrate lessons learned (the 'shadow') from the relationship.
- Closure
- Achieve closure by saying 'Thank you. And goodbye.'