Archive · 28 Sep 2026
How Self-Stories and Pretending Can Change Your Behavior
The book says that the stories people tell themselves can change how they act.
Someone who sees difficult experiences as something they overcame may become more resilient.
Someone who believes life only gets worse may struggle more.
Self-affirmation means remembering an important, positive part of who you are after a setback.
This can make criticism or failure feel less threatening.
In one virtual-reality experiment, people given taller and more attractive avatars negotiated more confidently afterward.
The idea is that pretending to be a certain kind of person can temporarily change your self-image.
The book recommends practicing this carefully, moving from doubt toward confident action.
Harinder Singh Pelia’s book argues that “fake it till you make it” can influence behavior.
Dan McAdams’s theory links redemptive personal stories with resilience and better mental health.
Claude Steele’s self-affirmation theory says affirming valued parts of identity can reduce defensiveness after setbacks.
A 2007 Stanford virtual-reality study found that participants with taller, more attractive avatars negotiated more confidently and aggressively.
Pelia’s “Lie Ladder” places passive self-doubt at Level 1 and acting as though success is already achieved at Level 5.
- Who
- Harinder Singh Pelia, drawing on psychologist Dan McAdams, social psychologist Claude Steele, and research from Stanford’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab.
- What
- A self-help book argues that personal narratives, self-affirmation, and adopted identities can influence confidence and behavior.
- When
- The article cites a 2007 virtual-reality study; no publication date for the book is provided.
- Where
- The cited experiment took place through Stanford’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab, while the book is excerpted from a Westland Books publication.
- Why
- The argument is that changing how people see themselves can make them more resilient, less defensive, and more willing to act toward their goals.
- Book
- Be Delusional: Bend Reality to Your Beliefs
- Author
- Harinder Singh Pelia
- Publisher
- Westland Books
- Narrative theory
- Dan McAdams’s framework distinguishes redemptive narratives from contamination narratives.
- Self-affirmation theory
- Claude Steele’s theory says affirming core values can help people withstand threats and criticism.
- Cited study
- A 2007 Stanford virtual-reality study examined how assigned avatars affected later negotiations.
- Lie Ladder
- The framework has five levels, ranging from “I am not the kind of person who does things like this” to treating a goal as already achieved.