Jaya Bachchan on disciplining children

“A useful approach is reframing: remind yourself that this defiance is not a personal attack but a normal developmental stage. Perspective-taking helps — most of us also went through periods of slamming doors or rolling eyes at our parents. Developmentally, as Kohlberg’s theory of moral growth suggests, children at this age are experimenting with fairness, justice, and autonomy.”

“Research consistently shows that teenagers frequently report feeling misunderstood and even hostile toward their parents during this stage. At the same time, their prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for judgment and impulse control — is still underdeveloped. This push–pull dynamic is why clashes at home become so common.”

“I think woh 12 saal ki thi aur poore 6 mahine se uska kuch na kuch ladaiyan ho rahi thi, kuch na kuch. I reached one point uska naya phone leke jo toda hai, taad karke (I think she was 12-years-old and for 6 entire months she was having fights due to some or the other reason. I reached one point where I broke her brand new phone).”

“Main ferocious maa zaroor hu, I also believe ki mere bachche jo hain unko khud ferocious hone ki zaroorat honi chahiye aur unko khud seekhna padega ferocious kaise hote hain (I am definitely a ferocious mother. I also believe that my children should be ferocious themselves and they will need to learn that themselves).”